too many commas

Digital Wall of Shame: Those naughty Alpena girls!

My dad sent this to me the other day, and I seriously laughed so loudly I scared my friend Sue in the other room.

Apparently, he said, this headline -- published on Dec. 7 -- was the talk of the town.

Digital Wall of Shame: Dying of embarrassment

Poor Mom. She was "alway's" there, and this is what her family gives her in return.

The idea of the traditional American burial creeps me out enough. You spend thousands of dollars on a comfortable coffin you won't enjoy. Your family members have to endure a funeral service where they surround your stone-cold body in its open casket and make awkward small talk while publicizing their grief. And, really, worst of all, there's a chance your headstone could be messed up, eternally marking you as an idiot.

You better believe that if someone screws up my headstone after I die, there will be a haunting.

(This horrific photo from the afterlife -- which made me laugh out loud at work -- is stolen from a blog I really love to read, Apostrophe Abuse. You should definitely check it out.)

Digital Wall of Shame: Cheap shots and merucry

Since this is a grammar blog, not a typo blog, I feel a bit cheap for posting so many spelling errors on the Digital Wall of Shame. I mean, it's almost too easy of a snark, and it's one that anybody would recognize (I hope) as an error. At the same time, it's so. damn. funny. It's mostly funny because it's so fixable -- all you have to do is click one little button, and errors like this can be corrected.

So while I might be taking cheap shots, they're also well-deserved. Even an idiot can use spellcheck.

DWS: Brought to you by the letter M

Today's Digital Wall of Shame comes, once again, from my hometown paper, The Alpena News, whose publisher doesn't find it necessary to hire copy editors.

Or use spellcheck.

Digital Wall of Shame: Fugitive infestation

This is one of my all-time DWS favorites. It's been taped on my wall for about a year now, and every time I look at it, I start to laugh. And itch.

Digital Wall of Shame: Spellcheck edition

Sometimes, there's really just no excuse for a mistake. Like when the main story on Page One isn't spellchecked.

Come on, people, get your act "togehter"! Actually, please don't, or I'd run out of things to snark.

(My apologies for the ridiculously crappy scan. I was too lazy to redo it.)

Digital Wall of Shame: Cool aunt edition

My aunt Colleen sends me a "care package" every few weeks. When I see the manila envelope in the mail, I'm instantly excited. She loves browsing for errors that will make me laugh, and every envelope is stuffed with mistakes she found (mostly in the local paper, The Alpena News) and her snarky comments.

Here's one she sent a while ago that I finally got to scan in. Yay technology! I especially liked it because I happen to live in "New Your." I left Coll's sticky note on there for added flavor.

DWS: New scanner wrecks havoc!

I am proud to announce that I am the owner of a brand-new HP scanner! (Thanks, Mom and Dad!) This means that you'll have more freshly cut newspaper mistakes to giggle over every week. To start off, I figured I'd share a hard-copy version of an error I've already posted here, because it's so much funnier when it's styled in headline format.

So, without further ado, I give you:

Not only is "wrecks havoc" ridiculous, as I stated here, "area" is NOT an adjective. "Area" is only a noun, and if you wanted to use it as an adjective, the correct word is "areal." Or just use "local," and you won't look like a bonehead.

DWS: All hookers want is a wife

This gem for today's Digital Wall of Shame comes from today's St. Paul Pioneer Press in Minnesota.

If you can't read the story, it's about how CAREER WOMEN really want the equivalent of a wife: someone to cook and clean so when they're home from work, they can simply relax. I assume the copy editor who wrote the headline was simply restricted by space, leading him or her to replace "woman" with "girl."

Said writer apparently forgot that "WORKING GIRL" has a whole other meaning.

DWS: Big, dumb brother is watching version

I'm back from vacation in Alpena and will have a proper post about it soon, but I just wanted to leave you with a lovely Digital Wall of Shame addition, courtesy of the airport in Saginaw, Mich.

I hope "your" shaking in "you're" boots.